I composed this list earlier tonight ready for posting elsewhere at a place that I co-write with a good friend of mine. It was only as I started writing it that I realized how much I’d been holding back, and it felt very cleansing – so I decided to post this list here – with full permission of my friend of course.

The list is a list of things I’ve wanted to say to people, but never had the chance (or courage lol) So, here we go … Phase two of cleansing begins here ….

1. Janet (childhood friend) – I’m so over you honey!

2. Tracey– You were daft to agree to marry someone you’ve only known for 7 months. Now you’re alone and hurting again and I’m sorry for that.

3. Mom – I love you, because you’re my mom, but as a person, I despise who you’ve become.

4. Dad – I hate that you won’t try to save the money to walk me down the aisle on my big day.

5. J – I hate that you lied to get my kids and take them away from me. One day, the tables will be turned.

6. The coward who raped me – You got what you deserved. You took a year away from me, but I refuse to let you take the rest of my life too.

7. Elle – Thank you for being the kind of friend I always wanted. I hope we’ll meet one day.

8. Becca – you had no need to lie to me. Why did you? I’d have been just as good a friend to you if you’d told the truth.

9. Ann – Thank you for understanding when my parents didn’t. I sometimes wished you were my mom.

10. T S – Thank you for trying to cause trouble between me and my honey. You made our relationship so much stronger.

11. Jeffers – Thank you for always being there for me, even on my bad days. I still don’t think I deserve you sometimes.

12. I consider my online friends to be closer than some of my real friends.

13. I really regret having my tubes tied.

14. Grandma – I’m sorry that you treated Granddad Frank so badly when he got ill. You couldn’t see that he loved you anyway.

15. Granddad Horace – I’m so sorry I never got a chance to say a proper goodbye to you. You were taken from us way too soon.

16. My baby boy – I’m sorry I couldn’t carry you to full term. But I cherish your visits from the afterlife. They calm me and I know you’re always near me.

17. Tracey – I was angry when you tried to commit suicide. Why should you get off so lightly while the rest of us have to battle it out?

18. Jeffers – I’m jealous that my photos are never as good as yours. It frustrates me.

19. I hate people who don’t check their spelling before posting on a forum I’m a member of.

20. I really do believe in God. Why should I be ashamed of that?

21. I forgive anyone who’s caused me harm or hurt me. Life is too short for regrets.

Ciao.